I stand on the side lines… and comment on how things aren't done properly, how i'd do it better…. that maybe one shouldn't be  caged like that…. i feel sorry from one of the two animals, sometimes i feel sorry for both of them.

Maybe once or twice i've climbed into umm.. offer a hand. Ehm.

Lately… what's been playing on my mind is…. How do couples "Spice things up…"

I can imagine this is a HUGE area for miscommunication… where they discuss "Spicing things up" She thinks… woohoo, flowers, chocolates, candles….

And he thinks… FINALY ANAL SEX!!!

Can you imagine…?!!

I can… the zoo is a great place.

In fact, it's probably not even that extreme…. because really.. …its not that hard to make the simple things fun, sexy and exciting. Is it?

Like in my world sending sms's like…

Feel like soup and sex tonight?

Receiving sms's like…

Sex and Soup sounds awesome! So i shouldn't cum in the shower then… [Okay, maybe the last part is an overshare]

Responding with..

Shall i bring bread?

Actually as i'm typing this, i'm wondering… it's in the small things… So, i can imagine the same exchange  in the zoo might end a little differently…

She suggests…

How about sex and soup tonight?

He says..

Oh my god… darling, that sounds gorgeous, can't wait to cum home

She says…

Cool, please pick up bread and milk on your way.

He says..

What? You know i have a conference call this evening. And i'm only leaving after 6. It'll be easier if you get it!

She says

You drive RIGHT past the shop, it'll taking you 10 MINUTES to run in and get it.

He says

THATS not the POINT – i work all day. I'm TIRED when i get home.

She says

Get your own fucking soup.

I'm the kinda chick who likes a challenge… but i can be a little.. Dive-into-something-with-out-really-checking-it-out… so i copied and pasted this…. and only THEN did i read the questions.

Oi Vey…. 

I am a person who … Probably does far too much thinking and not enough doing. I like secrets and walls. Secrets from everyone and walls around the real me and my heart.

One of the things I'd like people to know about me is … 

One of the things I have to do to survive is … Change. Do things differently. Try the extremes… do the things i want to do. Be different… Make my life full of experiences. 

All my life, I … I've always felt i wasn't good enough.

It isn't easy for me to admit … That I'm scared.

Sometimes I feel frustrated when … I just don't know what to do…where do go.. how to figure my shit out.

If I didn't care what people thought, I would … 

Ever since I was a child, I … played partner and parent to my parents in some way.

One of the things I'd like to be valued and appreciated for is … 

One of the things I wish people understood about me is … 

One of the things I appreciate about my parents is … They're amazing parents. Unconditional with out a doubt.

One of the things that first attracted me to my partner was …

I feel especially happy with my partner when …

I feel especially happy with my friends when .. They're my friends…and we hang out..and especially when we have those deep and meaningful conversations.

And so.. this has taken me AGES to do…. and in turn i tag YOU.

*this is as much as i can do right now.. i don't know about the rest… i. must. think. *sigh*

I’ve heard it said before when one person in a relationship “Checks out of the relationshop”…they’re “there” but not really. And at that point.. it all over. Things should ened right there and then.

Well i’ve checked out of this phase in mylife. I’m here…but not really really…silly pointless time wasting things* are what hold my attention atm. And as exciting as that is Monday through Tuesday.. wednesday i’m bored and somewhat unfulfilled with that.

My first instinct is to move… town/country/continent – but that’s not the issues… I love where i live, i’m a joburg girl, my family is here.. and i just bought that fucking car… So, moving location is pretty much not it.

It’s work.. of course it is… I’ve known for this for about a year now. I think for the first part of the year, i made a good show of forcing myself… but now.. i’m out.

Checked out.

Time to move along.

But where.. what.. how… This zone albeit unfulfilling is quite damn comfortable and requires minimal effort…as i sit here and type this at 1:11pm on a tuesday sitting in the sun.

*My 365 project, underwear, my car, my blog, my social life… of course not the men who entertain me.. you are in no way silly and pointless… You’re generally sexy and interesting.

1. What’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Green Eggs and Ham…?!

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
Hmmmmmm…. South Fork of course..

3. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep?
Who knows..?! 24 hours.. i don’t make a habit of this.. i am tres grumpy and cranky with out sleep.

4. What’s your favorite Barry Manilow song?
Copacabana of course!!

5. Who’s your favorite Muppet?
I can’t say i have an opinion on this topic?!

6. What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?
lol.. i have no idea?! Obsessively masturbating with a vibrator?!

7. What’s your favorite website?
Twatter.. google… no wait.. My blog.

8. What’s your favorite school supply?
Ummm…stationary?!

9. Who’s your favorite TV attorney?
Will of course!!

10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
Hmmm… Could it have been that trip to the middle of now where with the Aunt?!

11. What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or junk shop?
Who knows.. i’m constantly looking for these… Being Bargain Betty and all..

12. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I was sitting in our dinning room having extra maths lessons with Teacher Jenny… it also happens to be my mothers birthday… the plans were cancelled for that night, and everyone came to our house, we sat in front of the TV eating chinese take out watching CNN.

13. What’s your favorite tree?
I can’t say i’ve ever felt an emotional connection to a tree…?!

14. What’s the most interesting biography you’ve read?
Hmmm… Richard Bransons..?!

15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
I’m not a huge fan of chinese… i prefer japanese or thai.

16. What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?
Hmmmm… i don’t know… The Princess dress at my 9th birthday…?! The Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz at my last birthday..?!?

17. What’s your least favorite word?
“Nice” I blame one of my high school english teachers who would FREAK if we used that work. It is such a pathetic word at the end of the day. When i use fine… i am truly indifferent to the conversation and the question being asked.

18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
Who know?!…that’s a silly question. A sillier than most question.

19. Who’s your favorite bear?
Russ Bears… the ballet bear i was once given.

20. Describe something that’s happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Hmmm…. i have no idea… there has been many things… life is all about just rolling with the experiences..

21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?
Right now… a game farm. That’s where i want to be.

22. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Hmm.. Soup.. from woolies… something with meat balls in. Which was a mistake, because last night, at dinner… meat balls with an egg plant bake was served… i’m not really a FAN of meat balls on a good day. Let alone TWICE in one day.

23. Where do you go for advice?
Jees.. this depends on what the advice is i want… there are many places… my parents, my brother, friends, my therapist.. there is no one place.

24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Dictionary.. i have the app on my phone!!

25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
Many times i’ve snorkled.. i’ve enver scuba dived.. unless you include being in the pool when my parents did their course..and breathing in their riggs… it’s not really the IT activity of the moment.. now is it?!

This morning I find myself with a Zoosk app. Well I am lying, I’ve had it for about 2 weeks now.

But the reason for this post is… I now find myself wondering if I should in fact subscribe. Unlock conversations so to speak.

The reason I haven’t done it yet is…

• The fact I have an attention span of a guppy fish.
• Nics like Blinky and 2hot4u.
• The fact it costs money.
• Axe murderers.

Why I’m now thinking I should:

• R150 is really not that much for a months entertainment.
• I could find my one true love.
• Or I could just get laid.
• Surely along with those weirdo’s there are some ‘normal’ people. I’m a ‘normal’ person.
• This form of dating gives you the vital stats upfront.
• It’s a really cool app.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

I’ll keep you posted.

And you are right… One should always count their blessings, and usually – i’m pretty good at that. I do like to pride myself on the fact that i am a glass half full kinda girl. [naturally this depends on what's in the glass of course!]

But i’m feeling the pressure these days…. and even though i know things aren’t that bad…and there are many positively amazing things.. [see two new annoyinly amazing countdown thingies on my blog]… there are times, like now… where i find myself struggling to find perspective, gain footing – and get on top of it all.

Of course, as i added post script to the previous entry, i had written that post on the 2nd day of my period, which is historically the MOST emotional day for me. A day when i really should not be allowed to ‘express’ my feelings.

So, today… three or so days later – i find myself feeling much better…. I’ve just been to the gym, i’ve had some lovely retail therapy this weekend, time with good friends.

Today the world is looking a little more…

Sometimes instead of dwelling upon the sadness, one must concentrate of the happiness in one’s life.

…possible!

Thank you xxx

Ps, you don’t mind if i call you Kev, do you?

I am not

2. What was your dream growing up?

I never had dreams of what i would be, could be… blah blah blah.  In fact, i could never even ‘see’ myself any older than what i was at that point in time.

3. What talent do you wish you had?

Hmm.. i’ve come to accept that i have no talent… and i’m okay with that. In fact, i don’t think i have a personality which would suit a talent…

4. If I bought you a drink, what would it be?

Well let me thinking… Right now, if you bought me a drink, it would be a nice cuppuchino, if it was after hours… a bottle of wine would do. Or a glass if you’re not sharing it with me.

5. What was the last book you read?

I’m reading The boy next door.

6. What zodiac sign are you?

Scorpio. In fact, i’m going to go and read my star sign.

Todays Horoscope – 09th March 2010

Someone could bring something to your attention today, but hopefully they won’t do this in a harsh kind of way. Perhaps something has slipped under your radar. Perhaps they’ll tease you to clean up your act on something you know you are a little bit shoddy around. You may need to trust this person is not coming from a hurtful place. Give it a go.

7. Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.

Only earrings… that’s all.

8. Worst habit?

Short attention span issue.

9. What is your favorite sport?

Ummm… i can’t say that ‘sport’ and ‘favourite’ make any sense to me together.

10. Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?

Depends on the time of the month and the direction of the wind.

11. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

Lol… no worse than any body else i’m sure.

12. Tell me one weird fact about you.

Hmmm… i crunch my al bran smaller in the mornings. Feel free to ask about technique if this confuses you.

13. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

I don’t think much about clowns.

14. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

I would have my hair instantly longer. Not silly long. Just a little longer.

15. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

Depends on the Crime. I’m a grey area kinda girl like that…

16. Ever been arrested?

No… I’m smarter than that.

17. If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

Put it in my fixed deposit account. Because I’m feeling grown up right now. Actually fuck that… i lie.. i’d put it in the European adventure fund.

18. What’s your favorite place to hang out at?

I’m not really a ‘hang out’ kinda person? A coffee shop maybe…?! Tasha’s?

19. Do you believe in ghosts?

That’s just silly… how can you believe in them?!

20. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Hmmm… Masturbate if I’m in the mood… read…write…sms… twatter… list is endless.

21. Do you swear a lot?

Hmm… Yes. More than i should i think.

22. Biggest pet peeve?

You know… this is mood dependent… because.. right now, i can’t think of a single thing… But catch me in the right mood… and the list will be endless.

23. In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Defeated.

24. Do you believe/appreciate romance?

Of course… i’m good at appreciating men who appreciate me.

25. Do you believe in God?

I believe in People. Right and Wrong, and the power to make the right choice. Further than that. Fuck knows.

Babe… Sexy…

2. How do you style your hair? If you just would say “cut” what style is it?

My hair is long.. and recently i cut my own fringe… because that’s how i roll… So, it’s long, blonde and with a fringe… Sometimes i wear it up. Neatly up, or messy… sometimes when I’m in a hurry… or on the way to gym, i stick the fringe back, in what i refer to as my “dyke” look. No offense to attractive lesbians.

3. What’s your least favorite Christmas song?

I do like Christmas… and the songs that go with it.. “I’m not one of those people who tweets over Christmas “Fuck i hate that woolies is playing this shit so early in the year”

4. How many colors are you wearing now?

Lets see…

Brown
Grey
Red
black
5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Hmmm… extrovert.

6. What was the last book you read?

A boy called It

7. What’s one piece of fiction that changed your life?

Hmmm…. Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach

8. If you are attracted to someone who is already in a relationship (or married), what might do you do?

Well now….what a loaded question. If i knew that person and his wife/girlfriend/lover – i’d just adore him from a distance… And if not.. well… who knows…

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?

Hmmm… my current life situation. But what can you do…

10. What’s your favorite dessert?

Hmmm… something including chocolate. Or Pannacotta, yes Pannacotta. A lot.

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

It depends… sometimes about an hour, sometimes 10 minutes…and i’m sure i’ve done it in 5 before.

12. Name one website that you visit daily. Why do you read it?

twitter… because i’m an addict.

13. What was your last job before either you are at home or at another job??

My last job was nothing like my current job.

14. Do you like to clean?

Myself… yes. Domestically… Not so much.

15. What was the last song to get stuck in your head?

The Dirty Skirts…  something about a saturday night.

16. What’s the last movie you saw?

Hmmm… i can’t remember. Oh yes, the Private life of Pippa Lee

17. Pirates or Ninjas?

Hmmm.. Pirates.

18. What is your least favorite thing to do that you have to do everyday?

Hmmm.. waking up at 5:30am… In fairness to myself, i only get out of bed at 6:30am.

19. Best time of your life?

Lol… toooo many times to mention.

20. What are you most looking forward to in the coming year?

Changes… things picking up… life.