Just random words

The day after Womans Day… @picknpay Tweeted something like "Tell us what you did with your mothers day and you can win a PnP Voucher."

I had spent the day with my mum – a little shopping.. a little lunch..Afternoon tea… And funny enough – we'd been to PnP in the afternoon to get a few things… Naturally i replied to @picknpay with this.

And would you believe.. i won! 

Now.. not quite being a 'home maker'… or into sharing, i remembered that PnP has a delightful little clothing section – where're sure to ALWAYS find a gem. 

Being Bargain Betty, this turned me on no end… and off i went..

I bought a little black dress.. I'm not sure it would do for a formal formal evening out – but easy enough to dress up and dress down. Perfect for my little European adventure.

A Grey cardie.. quite gorgeous.. perfect for spring, nice and light – in fact I'm wearing it right now!

A white peasant like top… I think this might be quite lovely with black bra, black heels and jeans… 

I also took a grey(ish) tshirt with squinces on – which ended up looking rather insipid on… she must go back! Oh yes.. i was left with about R100 change i think….

So – Thank you very much PnP – i had much fun with my voucher…!!

* After yesterday's rather emo post… i thought it best to do something which excites me and which I'm thankful for. Maybe i should do this more often, to remind myself. (The thanking… Okay – the winning would be nice too.)

So, i have moments.. days.. where i feel the sky happens to be falling in. Where things are SO bad.. life is SO impossible.. i'm SO awful… I've done nothing with my life.. I'm never going to do anything… . Blah. Blah. Blah. I look forward to the future…. and i see this lonely miserable older person. All alone. Full of regret.

More often than not.. these moods last a few hours, a DAY at the most. And then we're fine.. All is good. We realise that we're prone to exaggeration.. that I'm 26… that i've done, and i continue to do fabulous things… My life is pretty good and exciting on most days.

Except…. right now – we're moving into day TWO.

I've had this miserable, the world is falling on my head – my life is sad… I'm all alone and no one loves me feeling – since sunday night(!!).

This morning i forced myself out of bed… to gym. As this tends to help. 

I of course get to the gym, swipe my tag and walk in. But that's as far as i got.. i looked around at all the happy, smiling people and had one of those… 'fuck this' moments.

I went for coffee.

A little chat with myself. A little pep talk… or maybe more of a pull your shit towards your shit kinda talk.

And it came to me… like a bolt of lightening in the dead of the night….I know what the issues are, if I'm dead honest… i really do.

I'm a procrastinator. I really am. I am a 'l lets deal with it at the last minute' kinda girl. I don't 'feel' like it right now kinda girl. With an attention span of a guppy fish. This coupled with the fact that… i just don't 'do' commitment – leaves me well. Floating from one thing to another. Never REALLY committing myself to much. [*sight*]

Enter Chicken Little complex. 

Quite simply.. i need a Todo list*. Write what needs to be done down… put it all into perspective – and do what i can. Make an effort to deal with the NB things… and learn to plan. I need to remember the lists i made.. .

This advice i gave myself… all for the nice price of R19.45.

*sigh*.

Today – I exhaust me.

*Why is it that … i know that TODO lists work for me… and when i do them i feel on top of everything… but then i stop. And well then.. I'm not. WTF.

Nino's…  was this weeks venue of choice… with M &V two of the nicest boys i know.

I do love this venue sitting under the trees.. the sun… people.. often people bring their dogs.. So, lovely. Of course there is my fear of bird crap in my coffee… but oh well.. just a little bit of JHB nature.

This week we discussed things such as 

• Places in JHB we've had sex, got lucky, felt up or had a pretty good kisses.
• I could have won.
• It might have been with the sex in the park.
• Felt up at Monte, Emperors, a few restaurants.
• We discussed which sex gets more sex. [undecided]
• Kissing after oral sex.. and how one of us received a black eye due to this. [Not Me]
• According to V… (who is in a relationship) being in a relationship this doesn't guarentee sex. [M and I were confused.]

They did manage to rag me slightly as i didn't want to take my sun glasses off due to my slight hang over from the dinner party the night before. 

I walk into the office today, faced with miserable faces. I'm over it.

I sit at my desk only to hear admin girl one snapping at admin girl two who was trying to tell her something.. "I'm busy." She snaps for the second time.. If i had the energy I would have snapped "I'm busy, is only a acceptable response if you're paying the salaries around here!!". I'm over it.

I watched as admin girl searched around for something that seems to be 'lost' from a customer. Needless to say, Admin girl one and techie boy one happened to be no help at all. When of course, between the three of them – they fucking lost it. Over it.

I have a staff meeting with my children at 1pm.

I might bring that forward to 12pm…. 

And simply send everyone home after.

For my sanity.

*The coffee shop, not the city.

So… now is the time to start the preplanning i guess.. figure out which visa i need.. where to apply for it… Get my international drivers license. Book hotels where we know for sure we'll be.

The admin part of the trip.

So far… the plan is… Land in Amsterdam.. spend the night and following day there… explore.. and be a real tourist. Head to Belgium friday evening, relax and hang out there… Head for for a couple of days to Lake Lugano… head back to Belgium.. via Venice Milan… a night or two there… Off to Hamburg the following monday… spend the night there.. back tuesday…. and back to SA that thursday.

I lie… the only part of the plan which is set in stone… is the night in Amsterdam, the over night in Hamburg and the fact that Belgium is the base…

Otherwise I'm open to your suggestions…

And… yes, i am now VERY excited if you're wondering.