Like yesterday evening…

I had decided that going to gym would be a great idea. Early in the morning i packed my bag, deciding that swimming would be it. So, with my swimming cap, costume and towel i headed off after work to the gym.

Of course it was not THAT simple as – from around 4pm my day took a left turn into Could it get any worse street, passing straight under the I hate my life bridge and stopping at Fuck this. My first reaction was, of course to blow off the gym.

But after a little inner conference, i decided it a FAR better idea to go. Clear my mind… work out those frustrations. And let those endorphins kick in.

So, rushing into the gym.. in a desperate need for a pee – i decide to change in the toilet too. Quick and simple. Still feeling sorry for myself… pondering my life, my Fuck this location, i get undressed and put my work clothes in my bag, pick up my towel and swimming cap, turn around to flush the loo..

Dropping the fucking swimming cap into the loo!

And in that very moment… in the big stinky gym i didn’t really want to be at, having an afternoon i didn’t really need… staring down at my shower cap, which i needed otherwise the pool was a no go – it hit me like a ton of bricks…

As bad as i thought my day was. In that loo, at my local gym, in THAT very moment. This was worse.

And surely – it can only get better from here?!

And it was okay.

Having dinner with The Baron a few days before the adventure, he predicted in detail, between laughs - that i would get bored, hate washing dishes, get cold, not want to pack all the shit up, having nothing to do during the day, not enjoy the bath/shower/toilet situation. Naturally – i would never admit this to his face… but he was pretty spot on.

What The Baron failed to mention to me, was the fucking monkey situation – and the fact that i would [nearly] get attacked by them. Fuckers.

Sitting bored(as predicted), alone* in the camp site on saturday morning – reading the Cosmo, i noticed this little furry creature wonder into the camp. The little monkey seemed to want the bread rolls, i thought nothing of this – if he took them and wondered off – no harm, no problem. Until the little fucker came back with a friend.

Naturally being a superior being, i got up and did the ‘shoo’… “shoo’.. in the hope of protecting our camp site. Would you believe that the one of the little fuckers went to the crouching tiger hidden dragon squat… and i swear i saw sharp teeth.

Of course i did wat any Cape Union Mart girl would do… i grabbed my Cosmo, Cellphone  and RAN!!!!

*I just couldn’t see my self taking a walk around the camp exploring… WTF, we’d spent 3 hours together in a 4×4 exploring a game park

#I took a bottle of Veuve along to celebrate breaking the camping virginity. It was the highlight.

## I’ll go camping again if it involves a bottle of Veuve.

“No, are you?”

“No, but I dreamt you were.”

Well that’s just dandy I tell her – I am of course flattered that you’re dreaming about me (at least SOMEONE is!), but being pregnant…well. I’d rather not.

Anyway

Of course she goes on to explain this dream… in this dream I say to you “But Princess, You don’t even have a boyfriend!” to which you then reply – “Come now Kay, you don’t have to have a boyfriend to fall pregnant, [even in other people’s dreams I’m pretty smart it seems] it was a one night stand with a guy I work with, you know – Greg”

At this point in real life – I’m dead quiet.

I work with a Greg. A really nice bloke, who I have never really spoken to Kay about.

Of course I make the fatal mistake of telling her all of this.

Well she’s now off to Yoga and burning incense while concentrating on the lotto. I’m a little freaked out about the fact he made me breakfast this morning.

*Names changed to protect the innocent