I’ve heard it said before when one person in a relationship “Checks out of the relationshop”…they’re “there” but not really. And at that point.. it all over. Things should ened right there and then.

Well i’ve checked out of this phase in mylife. I’m here…but not really really…silly pointless time wasting things* are what hold my attention atm. And as exciting as that is Monday through Tuesday.. wednesday i’m bored and somewhat unfulfilled with that.

My first instinct is to move… town/country/continent – but that’s not the issues… I love where i live, i’m a joburg girl, my family is here.. and i just bought that fucking car… So, moving location is pretty much not it.

It’s work.. of course it is… I’ve known for this for about a year now. I think for the first part of the year, i made a good show of forcing myself… but now.. i’m out.

Checked out.

Time to move along.

But where.. what.. how… This zone albeit unfulfilling is quite damn comfortable and requires minimal effort…as i sit here and type this at 1:11pm on a tuesday sitting in the sun.

*My 365 project, underwear, my car, my blog, my social life… of course not the men who entertain me.. you are in no way silly and pointless… You’re generally sexy and interesting.

1. What’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Green Eggs and Ham…?!

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
Hmmmmmm…. South Fork of course..

3. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep?
Who knows..?! 24 hours.. i don’t make a habit of this.. i am tres grumpy and cranky with out sleep.

4. What’s your favorite Barry Manilow song?
Copacabana of course!!

5. Who’s your favorite Muppet?
I can’t say i have an opinion on this topic?!

6. What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?
lol.. i have no idea?! Obsessively masturbating with a vibrator?!

7. What’s your favorite website?
Twatter.. google… no wait.. My blog.

8. What’s your favorite school supply?
Ummm…stationary?!

9. Who’s your favorite TV attorney?
Will of course!!

10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
Hmmm… Could it have been that trip to the middle of now where with the Aunt?!

11. What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or junk shop?
Who knows.. i’m constantly looking for these… Being Bargain Betty and all..

12. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I was sitting in our dinning room having extra maths lessons with Teacher Jenny… it also happens to be my mothers birthday… the plans were cancelled for that night, and everyone came to our house, we sat in front of the TV eating chinese take out watching CNN.

13. What’s your favorite tree?
I can’t say i’ve ever felt an emotional connection to a tree…?!

14. What’s the most interesting biography you’ve read?
Hmmm… Richard Bransons..?!

15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
I’m not a huge fan of chinese… i prefer japanese or thai.

16. What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?
Hmmmm… i don’t know… The Princess dress at my 9th birthday…?! The Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz at my last birthday..?!?

17. What’s your least favorite word?
“Nice” I blame one of my high school english teachers who would FREAK if we used that work. It is such a pathetic word at the end of the day. When i use fine… i am truly indifferent to the conversation and the question being asked.

18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
Who know?!…that’s a silly question. A sillier than most question.

19. Who’s your favorite bear?
Russ Bears… the ballet bear i was once given.

20. Describe something that’s happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Hmmm…. i have no idea… there has been many things… life is all about just rolling with the experiences..

21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?
Right now… a game farm. That’s where i want to be.

22. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Hmm.. Soup.. from woolies… something with meat balls in. Which was a mistake, because last night, at dinner… meat balls with an egg plant bake was served… i’m not really a FAN of meat balls on a good day. Let alone TWICE in one day.

23. Where do you go for advice?
Jees.. this depends on what the advice is i want… there are many places… my parents, my brother, friends, my therapist.. there is no one place.

24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Dictionary.. i have the app on my phone!!

25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
Many times i’ve snorkled.. i’ve enver scuba dived.. unless you include being in the pool when my parents did their course..and breathing in their riggs… it’s not really the IT activity of the moment.. now is it?!

Of course, jumping head first into this adventure – i knew this.. i know about paying back… about insurance… about all that kinda thing.

But now the reality is here. 12 hours away. And i've jsut realised that there is going to be a good few k's missing out of my monthly budget from next month. And I happened to be rather comfortable with my previous budget.

So, i've decided that there is really only one this left to do.

A girls got to do, what a girls got to do.

So…

Handjob – (regular) R450 
Handjob – (happy ending) R650
Blowjob – (regular) R800
Blowjob - (extra effort) R1100
Sex – (Standard) R2200
Sex – (extra effort) R2800
Over night - (standard)
R 3800 Overnight – (Cuddle & Coffee) R 4500

T's & C's apply.
The above Excludes traveling costs.

Just kidding mom!

No, it’s pretty good.

When is it hard to kiss someone?

Hmm… when they’re not that great a kisser… or rather they have one of those annoying habits of being all tongue…

Alhto i have to say… in my experience. Things become hard the more you kiss.

You’re trapped in a room with your most recent ex for three days, what do you do?

Hmm… talk, chat… discuss stuff… try that hard kissing..?!

Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes?

Hmmm… i’m not sure.

Have you ever regretted letting someone go?

Nope… it’s all part of life. Apparently if you love someone you should let them go?!

Where would you go if you were butt naked and locked out of your house?

Ummm…. To my car?!

Do you want to please everyone?

i’d like to please myself.

Have you ever been called heartless?

Um….no?

Someone calls you at 3:00 AM, who do you expect it to be?

at this point in time…  My brother.

Does it matter if your significant other drinks?

Depends how much he drinks.

Could you go the rest of your life without doing drugs?

Of course.

Which is better, amazing eyes or an amazing smile?

I don’t know… both?!

Do you want to get married and have children one day?

Hmm.. i do.

Are you easy to get along with?

Of course i am.

Do you ever want to go to sleep and not wake up?

Of course i do. In fact right now might just do.

Are you shorter than your Mom?

No, i am quite a bit taller than her.

Describe your life currently in one word:

WTF

Are you on medication for anything?

Hmm..nope.

Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day?

Umm… i have no idea…

Are there things in your life that you will never be able to get over?

Umm.. nah. Move on, move along. Life is too short.

If you woke up naked next to the last person you kissed, what would your reaction be?

no comment.

The kind of small town where everyone knows your name.[ha ha] Where you take a walk to the bakery for breakfast on a sunday… chatting to people on your way.

Where the owner of the local spar/woolies/pic ‘n pay welcome you at the door buy name. There is one school and spar, and petrol station. Where life isn’t fast paced… and if you can’t get internet connection – it would be okay. Life would not end.

And then i spent two nights in Vryheid.

As i’ve said one million times on this here blog – one should always qualify exactly what it is one would like.

Because if the world had to somehow decide i should live in Vryheid…. I’d fucking hang myself.

Things like friends losing jobs, friends going through really hard times, brothers getting arrested, brothers writing cars off, dogs dying ETC and so foreth.. or forth.

So yesterday… i may or may not have – after a particularly trying meeting in PTA with 4 men who have never left PTA, and don’t QUITE konw their arse from their elbow, or mine either for that fact – I met a friend for coffee at the most amazing KFC concept store in Hatfield, which turned into lunch and turned into coffee again.

We spoke and spoke and spoke….I explained to him that i’m just SO flat at the moment… That i jsut can’t seem to shake it. And i really don’t know what to do. I poured my heart out… and told him about my mate related issues, i told him about my family, about work… about fucking staff… about the fact i can remember nothing, that i mean to do things – sort problems out…and instead totally forget about them… about the fact i’m not going on leave all all this christmas… and i’m starting to feel guilt about my Europe trip.

I kinda applied the a problem shared is a problem halved thought process… And i must say – i did leave there feeling much better.

Of course it might have to do with the MSG’s in the KFC - but i’ll take it.

So – here we have list.. List 2627

1. Watch the sunrise with someone interesting
2. Bungee jump
3. Buy that fucking property
4. Visit the Aunt in Belgium
5. Take an overseas holiday in Aug/Sept ‘10
6. Plan 5 get aways for the year
7. Fall in love
8. Have dinner in Soweto
9. Ask a bloke out
10. Send 5 people flowers
11. Pick a guy up in a bar and go home with him
12. Fly somewhere with absolute purpose
13. Compete in a sporting event
14. Have sex outside under the stars
15. Make 4 new friends
16. Dedicate 30 minutes a week to teaching someone something new
17. Cook something amazing I’ve never cooked before for someone special.
18. Live out someone else’s darkest fantasy.
19. Work on *that* Business venture
20. Join at least 3 corporate bodies
21. Have Dinner/lunch/sex with Charles
22. Visit an African country
23. Write something that is professionally published.
24. Do something breath taking. Twice
25. Be in love on Valentines Day.
26. Set a goal for each month.

So, once again… I remain confident.

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Like yesterday evening…

I had decided that going to gym would be a great idea. Early in the morning i packed my bag, deciding that swimming would be it. So, with my swimming cap, costume and towel i headed off after work to the gym.

Of course it was not THAT simple as – from around 4pm my day took a left turn into Could it get any worse street, passing straight under the I hate my life bridge and stopping at Fuck this. My first reaction was, of course to blow off the gym.

But after a little inner conference, i decided it a FAR better idea to go. Clear my mind… work out those frustrations. And let those endorphins kick in.

So, rushing into the gym.. in a desperate need for a pee – i decide to change in the toilet too. Quick and simple. Still feeling sorry for myself… pondering my life, my Fuck this location, i get undressed and put my work clothes in my bag, pick up my towel and swimming cap, turn around to flush the loo..

Dropping the fucking swimming cap into the loo!

And in that very moment… in the big stinky gym i didn’t really want to be at, having an afternoon i didn’t really need… staring down at my shower cap, which i needed otherwise the pool was a no go – it hit me like a ton of bricks…

As bad as i thought my day was. In that loo, at my local gym, in THAT very moment. This was worse.

And surely – it can only get better from here?!